Super-Size Me

Friday morning, I stopped in at Dunkin Donuts for a cup of coffee because I actually really like their coffee.

I went inside to the counter because the drive through was pretty busy.

Approaching the counter I ordered a large coffee. I moved to the side so the man behind me could order. I heard him order an extra large coffee. When I saw his coffee, I said, “Wait a minute. That’s what I want. I didn’t know you could order an extra large”. They gladly swapped it for me. Now, I know.

All this reminds me of an episode I once had at a fast food restaurant. I ordered a medium size French fries. The girl taking my order cheerfully declared, “We don’t have medium”.

As I scan the menu board, I ask puzzled, “you don’t?”

Still smiling, she recites, “We have regular, large and super-size”.

Finally grasping the concept, I ask, “But you have three sizes, right?”

Once again, as if someone had pulled the string on her back, “We have regular, large and super-size”.

“OK”, I said very deliberately, “I’ll take the middle one”.

Here’s my philosophical complaint about these semantic maneuvers.

Obviously, the goal is to make me feel like I am eating more fries if I call the same bag “large” instead of “medium”. Unfortunately, the intellect can sometimes be a barrier to sophomoric marketing strategy.

Instead of using language to describe reality, language is being manipulated as an attempt to define (create) reality. In my opinion, that’s the tail wagging the dog. And I feel personally insulted.

Maybe a Quarter Pounder should be renamed the Double Eighth Pounder.